Good-bye......

what does that word really mean?

I think it means something different for everyone. For some it means the end of something and for others it means the beginning of something. I never really gave the word much thought until these last few months.....and I have learned what that words means for me(at least I think I have).

For me it means the beginning of something new. Yes it also meant I had to leave behind everything I have known but I really think it was time. It is hard to put into words what I am talking about but I will try. See I think I had gotten too comfortable.....comfortable in my life, in my job, in my friendships, with my family. I know some reading this may not understand and this may even hurt their feeling but in no way is that my intention. I believe there comes a point in every ones life where you have to ask yourself, 'what am I doing and am I happy'. To be honest I wasn't happy, I can't explain why, I just know that I wasn't.....but no moving was not a decision that Tom and I came to easily it was the hardest decision we have ever had to make but we both knew it was something that we had to do. Do I think everything will magically be fixed because we live in a different state.....NO.....that would be very naive of me....but I believe it is a start....and we all need a fresh start from time to time.

Let me clarify something....I love all of my family and friends very much and I am going to miss them all more then I can ever put into words and I can never replace the friendship that I left in Florida and I would never even try. But I know my true friends...the ones closest to me will understand and still love me. And I just say friends cause I know my family will always understand and be there for me.

I hope all of this rambling makes sense to someone because I am not sure it does to me......

Love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WORDS.....

have you ever really stopped and thought about them? We use them every single day without ever realizing it both spoken and unspoken. Sometimes an unspoken word it the one that is heard louder then the spoken one.

-How are you using your "spoken" words in your day to day life?

-Are you choosing to use them for good or bad?

- Are you aware of your words or do they just "happen"?

-Do you stop and think about how your words will affect those around you?

-Do you choose to add your "words" to a situation that you do not know much about or that you only know about from a third party?

-Do you stop to find out details before you add your "words" to a conversation?

-Are you using your words as a weapon to right some wrong weather real or imagined?

-How are you using your "unspoken" words in you day to day life?

-How do you treat that person that you have "heard" something about?

-Are you ignoring that "new" person because of the way they look?

-Are you telling your kids that you love them by more then your words but with your actions?

-Are you there to support the ones you love in every situation rather you "agree" with it or not?

I have been thinking alot lately about how our words are used to either speak life or death...blessing or curse to a situation. I try everyday to use my words as a hope to someone....not to put down. I know I do not always measure up the way I should but I am trying....and I have to admit some days I don't "try" as hard as I should.

I will leave you with this...the next time you feel it is your "right" to use your words to correct, speak your mind, or undermine someone stop and think......how would I feel if these same words were spoken to me. And the next time you choose to treat someone differently because you think you "know" what is going on stop and ask that person what is going on...you may be surprised how much you DON'T know about a situation.

This one is for you honey....

Today was....

a pretty hard day. Its was the first day of my new normal, the first day back to school and work without Tom here. I tried to put on a brave face but it was hard. I talked to him on Face Book a couple of times and on the phone but it was not the same.

Spring Break was fun but I wonder if it was the best idea. Tom and I said our good-byes on the Wednesday before he had to be at work and that was tough but then I had to tell him good-bye again and this time it felt even worse. I know I will get through this and that it is just for a season but it is tough.

Now I have to get in the frame of mind of packing and going through things and getting rid of things. Ashlee and Britney started yesterday, they cleaned out their closet and got 2 big boxes of things to give away (I am just happy that they cleaned their closet out, I don't think they have ever done that before...lol).

When I am afraid, I will trust in you

Psalm 56:3

I know....

change is never easy…if it was it would not be a big deal…right.

This is probably one of the hardest weeks of my life yet one of the most exciting…does that makes sense. Me and the kids are in Tennessee on Spring Break and we are having so much fun, driving around taking pictures and just having a good time but this is also my last week with Tom for 2 ½ months.

For those of you who may not know yet let me explain…we are moving to Tennessee in June. Tom got a job and started working last Thursday so he has already moved, he is staying with his mom until June which is when the kids and I are moving. Why June you may be wondering….we want Kirsti to graduate from Chamberlain and we want the other two to finish this school year so that is why we are waiting until then.

I am not looking forward to leaving this Saturday, this will be only the second time we have been apart for a long period of time. The first time of course was when Tom was in the Marines and he was sent overseas for 6 months, thank God this time will only be for 2 ½ months but that is still a long time. The 12 hour drive home is going to be hell but I am going to have to try and keep it together for the kids. They are taking it hard too but I don’t think it is really going to hit them until we start heading back to Florida and Tom has to stay.

We both really feel that this is the next step that God has for our family but we never realized how hard it was going to be. So I am asking for you to pray for me and my family…this couple of months is going to be hard but it will all be worth it in the end.

Help me to remember...

I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

*Lord give me the faith to TRUST you....no matter what*

Another one of my favorite songs....

Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace

Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace

*Thank you God for seeing the true me... no matter what*