A Quiet Night at Home!!!

I know it has been a while since I have visited with you all and I do apologize but it has been very crazy. But know it is Friday and I am enjoying a movie with my Britney, she wanted to watch The Bee Movie, she has seen it but she said it was really good and wanted me to watch it with her. It is just the two of us tonight because Kirsti had to work with dad and Tom took Ashlee fishing with a friend of his so it is just me and Brit. I feel like I have been going none stop for a while now and it is nice to have a evening to do nothing but sit and watch a movie.
Alot has been going on, work has been good but busy. I have been helping Pastor Deanna out with the Unstoppable mailer, she wanted to get it mailed out before the end of the month and we did it. We finished up that mailer plus the newsletter so we can get those both mailed out on Tuesday.
Well I know this is a short one but I need to go so I can watch the movie with Brit, I don't get to enjoy a movie very often so I am going to enjoy this one.
Love Ya

Something on my mind....

I have been thinking a lot lately about a post that I read awhile back. I am still not sure how to put into words how I feel. I will touch on it a little tonight...

Let me start by touching on what the post was about, it was about parents putting their children on medication for ADHD and ADD. As many of my close friends know, Tom and I have been living with a child with ADHD for almost 16 years. Trust me when I say that we did not come to the decision to put her on medication easily. It was something that we agonized over for a while. We tried behavior modification, we tried so many different things but nothing worked. So we made the decision to put her on medication and I am glad we did. I really do not understand where the stigma comes from. Why do people assume that children who live with this can control it? It is no different than a child living with diabetes or any other disorder that requires medication. Would you look down on parents or criticize them for giving their child insulin? Of course not, you would stand by that parent and help them in any way possible. So why is Adderall so different. Some may say, well a child can not die if they do not get Adderall but if you deny them insulin they will. My answer to that is, have you seen or been around a child that has ADHD and not had their medication? Well I have, and I tell you it is not fun or something that the child can control. I have seen the frustration in my child's eyes when she tells me,"mom I don't know what is going on, it is like I am watching myself but can not control it or stop", it breaks my heart and unless you are a parent that deals with this you have no idea what it is like.

This leads me to my next point. If you have not dealt with a child that lives with ADHD or ADD then what gives you the authority to say anything about it. Yes,I know everyone is entitled to their opinion but they do not have the right to criticize something they have no idea about. For some reason the first argument they run to is putting your child on medication will turn them into a zombie well I am here to tell you my child is anything but a zombie. And the next thing I hear is that parents just don't want to deal with their child so they run to medication to keep them quiet and out of their hair. Again, anyone who knows me and any one else that lives with a child with ADHD knows that just the opposite is true. I love my child and love to spent time with her, if I did not love her I would just let it go and chalk her behavior up to just her being uncontrollable and leave it at that. But I love her too much to give up on her, you as a parent know when their is more going on than just a child being difficult and just as any good parent with a child who lives with diabetes you look for the solution and get your child whatever help they need to be a productive adult.

Like I said at the beginning, I have alot to say about this and I could probably keep going but I am going to leave it at that for now. I am sure I will post more on this in the future because after all this is my life and I am dealing with this on a daily basis and I would not trade it for anythig else!!!

What God is doing in me through the Daniel Fast...

Alot of people have been reflecting on what they are hearing from God on our Daniel Fast.I have heard people say that they are receiving answers about things like new jobs or answered prayers about their children or other family members.That is great but I 've been hearing something different and I have to admit there are times where I wonder if it is God or myself but I think I have come to realize that it is of God. So I thought I would share just a little of it. Of course I will not share it all because alot of it is very personal but I will share what I can.
First I should start by explaining what I was like 5 to 6 years ago. I was a very shy person, I was not as outgoing as I am now and I would of never, ever had a blog. I was a very guarded person, I had gone through some stuff that made it very hard for me to get close to people or even trust anyone. I also had very low self esteem, I hated the way I looked, I hated looking in the mirror at myself,I didn't believed I was worthy of anything. I didn't even believe I was worthy of God's love or acceptance.
Fast forward to today and what God is showing me.... I am very comfortable with myself (most of the time), I am starting not to mind seeing my reflection, I trust people a little more easier now. God has been showing me that I am worthy of not only others people's love but more importantly I am worthy of His love. I am a special person that God designed to be just how I am. I am proud of who I am and the path God has placed me on. There are still times when I feel unworthy but I have learned to step back and remind myself that I am worthy and that God has chosen me to be right where I am.

I thank God everyday for what He is doing in me, and I thank God that He is showing me more and more everyday that I am special and worthy of everything He has in store for me. I am loving the ride and can't wait to see what He has waiting for me at the end of this fast. I can do anything as long as I remember that I am God's and that he loves me to death!!

Ready for bed

Today was a good day but a very tiring day. Work was pretty good, Missionettes was actually good tonight. We are doing a unit on camping and tonight we talked about building fires and how to make them. We went outside and got all of the stuff to make a fire then we put it all together in the class, no we didn't lite them but the girls got to pick which kind of fire to make then they had to explain the process. They seemed to have a good time tonight. We stayed a little late so Kirsti could practice her solo for Fine Arts this weekend. She is really down on herself, she doesn't think she is good enough, but she will work through it and do great. Then we came home, got the kids baths and put in bed and now I am winding down.

Well there you have it, all the excitement of my day. Now it is bed time, got to do it all again tomorrow!!

Food for thought...

Today I was reading one of my favorite blogs and she was talking about the responses we get from people and how we deal with them and it got me to thinking.
If you would of ask me 5 years ago if I could deal with the responses I got from people it would have been a big fat NO.
A few years ago I was happy to stay in the background and just slide through life unnoticed. I never wanted to put myself out there because I was afraid of what people would say about me or heaven forbid what they would think of me. I lived my life for everyone around me because I was afraid of the responses I would get if tried to step out and do anything, so needless to say I was pretty much miserable all the time. Sure I put on the happy face and went along with the flow but I was never really happy.
But a few years ago something happened. I can't tell you exactly what it was but I started to step out a little more and more. Then before I knew it I was stepping out and taking charge of aspects of my life that for so long I let someone else dictate to me. I still sometimes have the fear of the responses that I will get from others but I now have the confidence to deal with it. I do not take it so personally because I know who I am in God and what He has called me to do. There are times when I get ahead of God and step out before Him and when that happens I have to humble myself and ask the Lord to forgive me then face the "responses" I get for the mistakes I have made but then I move on, I don't dwell on it.
Well that is the way I have learned to deal with the responses from those around me.
How about you?

Why??

Why is it that every time I think I have things figured out something happens to make me rethink my decision?
I know all of the cliches, "it is just the devil trying to make you doubt yourself" or "trust God, he will lead you". And I know all of that and I believe them but sometimes I just get so tired of the uphill battle. Why does the next level have to be so hard to get to? I think "is it really worth this, why can't I just stay in my happy little comfortable place and just slide by?" As you can probably tell, I had a pretty hard night. Things just didn't work out the why I thought, things I thought would work out good didn't, ideas just didn't work as planned. Just ended up leaving, tired, disappointed and ready to run away.
I think I just need a hot bath and a good nights sleep. Just needed to vent and get it off my chest.
Just a side note, I do trust God and I know the path he has revealed to me is the right one, I just get tired of fighting for it. And yes, I know in the end it will all be worth it!!

Lord, give me the endurance I need to come through this on the other side a better person, and help me to trust you completely with everything. Give me the strength to fight for what you have for me and the faith to trust that this is the destiny you have laid out for me.

Early start but relaxing ending

I always look forward to Saturdays as a day to sleep in and catch up on some work around the house but that did not happen today.
Kirsti had a band thing down at the St. Pete Times Forum this morning and she had to be there by 7:45am , yes I said am on a Saturday. So the first part of my plan for my Saturday did not happen. It was alot of fun though, I love to watch her march with the band, she just loves it and does such a great job. I am so proud of her, she has had a really good couple of weeks, she has been easy to get along with and has not had attitude about things(besides normal teenage stuff).
So after the band thing was over Kirsti had to go to work with my dad so that left just me, Tom and Ashlee,(Britney was with my sister). We don't get time alone with Ashlee much and unfortunately she was not feeling good, even had a slight temperature so we went to lunch then came home and took a nap, a 3 hour nap that is. Boy did it feel good. I have been sleeping alot better since we have been on the fast, the only thing is I feel like I can't get enough sleep, I am always tired, so a nap was really nice.
After we got up we watched a couple of movies and enjoyed the sounds of the rain. I love the rain especially if I don't have to go anywhere.
We also had the 24 hour prayer shifts for church this weekend. I had it for 30 minutes form 7:30 till 8:00. I have to admit every time I sign up to do a shift I am always afraid I will not have "enough" to say but it always amazes me at how the time just flies, before I knew it it was over and I thought "wow that went really fast". I never have a problem praying but sometimes when I have to pray for a certain amount of time it makes me nervous. Silly right?
But God is good and I am looking forward to church tomorrow, it should be good and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us.
Love Ya