Just a short one...

I just wanted to stop by and ask all of you for some serious prayers ( not that all prayer is not serious) but I am dealing with a BIG issue right now and I need all of the prayers possible. I can't really say right now but don't worry the girls are fine (they are in Tennessee right now with Tom's mom).
I will try to stop in another day and tell you all about our Christmas but right now my mind is so preoccupied that I really can't think.

Love ya all and please be in prayer for me and my family.

It's begining to look alot like Christmas...

well Tom and I went out last night and shopped for Christmas finally. We had so much fun, we do every year, then we finished up tonight. We took the girls to mom's house to make cookies with all of the other grand kids then we went out to dinner with my sisters and their husbands then went to finish up with the shopping. I had such a good time with them, we really do not spend enough time together, we laughed so hard, my family is so goofy but fun.
So now I am sitting here trying to wind down so I can go to bed, we have a busy day tomorrow. We have our Christmas service at church then we have Andrew's birthday party to go to.

Nighty night to all...

Things are a little better...

I have gotten some sleep but I am still really tired. I have been sleeping better but not 100%.

Keep praying that I continue to sleep better and better every night cause I have a busy couple of weeks coming up. From Life Coaching on Saturday to baking cookies with my mom Saturday night to church on Sunday then a birthday party then Christmas and on and on and on... and to top it off I am heading to Tennessee on the 30th for a couple of days, so like I said I have alot coming up. I am looking forward to all of it I just want to be well rested so I can enjoy myself.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

Sleep glorious sleep...

this is one thing that seems to be alluding me. I had a fantastic "PJ" day, just hung around the house, watched T.V., did a little bit of laundry, it was wonderful. But since Saturday night I have not been able to sleep, I may sleep for a hour but that is it and I am beginning to run out of steam!!!

So all of my friends out there please pray that I will be able to sleep, I got a few more hours last night but I am so tired that I feel like I am walking around in a daze. I am also starting to feel like I am trying to get a cold or something, sneezing, running nose, watery eyes. Man I feel like I am falling apart!!!

*God I pray for good restful sleep, this is my favorite time of the year and I want to be able to enjoy it and not be on edge because I am so tired*

P.J. Day Here I Come...

tomorrow is Saturday and I have nothing to do...yes I said I have nothing to do. I am going to sleep as late as I want then get up and maybe just maybe have a P.J. day, that's right a day that I stay in my P.J.s all day long.

I have not had a day to myself in such a long time, I honestly can't remember the last time I had a day with nothing to do and I am going to enjoy it. So from this moment until Sunday morning Cathy is off duty (well if you really really need me I will be here for you but it better be important).

I hope you enjoy your weekend, I am going to enjoy mine!!!!

Teenagers....

Need I say more!!!!!

Quiet ...please

I love this time of year but it is always so busy.



It has been a great week, nothing much earth shattering going on, just your typical holiday stuff.

Church tonight was good, everything I had planned worked out just the way I had it planned. I had to put together a lesson for the Rainbow class as well and as far as I know that class went well also. The girls in my class wanted a lesson on Christmas and there was not one in the book so I had to put one together but it was not too hard and it was a little fun as well.

We had choir practice after church tonight for our upcoming Christmas concert and it was a really good one, just makes for an extra long day (like it is not long enough).

But now we are home and I am enjoying the quiet...I love people I really do but there are times I just need to be quiet. I just want to sit and watch T.V. and not talk to anyone, just turn my brain off and veg. But unfortunately now I am starting to fall asleep so I guess I am going to head off to bed now.

*Thank you Lord for all of your blessings, even when I find myself getting caught up in the business of the season you are there to remind me that You are the reason we celebrate*

Good Weekend...

It is Sunday night and it has been a good and full weekend.

Friday night we had our woman's Christmas party at Pastor Deanna house and it was so much fun. I really needed the time to relax and enjoy the company. We had so much fun, we played a game where people had to tell something about themselves depending on the color of M & M's they had. We learned some pretty interesting things about each other and had a few laughs. PD talked to us about being grateful over everything even the small things, it was something I know but we all need reminding of it from time to time and I really needed it that night. It was a God thing!!!

Saturday I went to the funniest soccer game I have ever been to.Andrew (my 5 year old nephew) had his first game on Saturday and it was so funny to watch them play. Andrew sat on the ball twice then he would pick up the ball and move it to where he wanted it before he would kick it. A couple of times he went to the sidelines and got another ball and would play his own game, he would kick it into the other teams net then cheer for himself for making a goal. I have been to a couple of Tom's games in high school but none where better then this one. I am so glad I was able to go, that is a memory I will treasure forever!!!
That brings us to Sunday... it was a great day. Church was awesome, choir practice was fantastic and after that we headed over to Pastor's to watch a football game. It was busy but a great day all in all.

Now it is bed time, I am so tired, one draw back to the weekend was I went to bed Saturday at 7:00 pm with a horrible headache and sleep till 7:00 am Sunday morning. I felt much better Sunday morning but believe it or not I was still tired. I didn't sleep very well, even though I was in bed I wasn't really sleeping so I am ready for bed. Tomorrow starts a new week and I am ready for it!!!
Love ya

I am sick and tired of you...

Devil you are not going to get me down no matter how hard you try!!! My God is in control, you are not. I am sick and tired of you trying to beat up on me, I will no longer take it sitting down. With God all things are possible and that is what I am believing with my whole body, mind, and spirit!!!!

Sorry I just had to put satan on notice, I feel much better now!!!!!

Tomorrow is Friday and I have a Christmas party to go to. I am very excited about it and can hardly wait.

I love this time of the year and I AM GOING TO ENJOY IT!!!!!!!!

*Thank you God for all of your grace and love, I will trust you at all times*

Just another Tuesday...

not too much going on. Just work then home to make dinner and chill for a little before it is time for bed. Then guess what.....I get to get up and do it all over again.

Ashlee stayed home from school sick today but she is feeling better now. Unfortunately she is not alone, everyone is starting to complain about not feeling good, that is never good, once one gets sick everyone gets it. So pray for us, I do not have the time to be sick and neither does Tom.

Well like I said today is Tuesday which also means it is my favorite night of T.V. watching, first NCIS, then the Mentalist and Fringe so I am off to watching my shows, see you tomorrow.

A New Week...

is about to begin.



Today was a great day at church, we had choir lunch and practice after church and that is always fun, although I did miss my partner in crime (aka Lisa), the Currie family was not at church today, with the wedding and Thanksgiving and family in town they needed a break and I understand that but I still missed them today.

I also taught Sunday school this morning and I had so much fun, I was supposed to have the middler class but I ended up having everyone except the high schooler but I didn't have any problems. Misty asked me how it went and I told her that I never have any problems out of the kids, I think that is because I don't let "kid" behavior bother me, if they want to stand and listen to me that is fine, if they want to tell goofy stories I will give them time to do that too. Sometimes people think kids should behave like miniature adults and that is not fair to the kid, let them be kids, they don't stay that age forever, there is plenty of time to be an adult when that time comes but for now let them be themselves( of course they know that I expect respect and I always get it from every kid that I have ever been in "charge"of).

Tomorrow starts a new week, we are decorating the church tomorrow and that is always fun, we have some ladies coming up to help and I love spending time with the ladies from our church, not many people can say that but I can. I can not think of anyone at church that I don't get along with or that I don't just love to hang with and that is such a blessing to me.

Well it is time for bed, like I said tomorrow starts a new week!!!!

Winding down...finally

Well Thanksgiving is behind us now and I am looking forward to the Christmas season. Its has been a busy and crazy week but a fun one.
We just got home from a wedding and a stop at the store on the way home and I am ready for bed.

Thanksgiving turned out really good. I missed not having my whole family here but it was nice (my mom, my sister Teri and her family were in Kentucky).Like I said in my last post, this is the first Thanksgiving in our house since we have lived in Florida. My other sister Sheri and her husband (and the boys) brought their food over and cooked it here, it was fun to have everyone in the kitchen cooking.

Friday we slept in late then I meet Sheri up at the mall and walked around for a little while, it was not to bad but that is probably because we went later in the day. There was no way that I was going out early, I loved to shop as much as the next person but all of the craziness of the day is not worth it to me.

Now my goal is to get Tom to get all of the Christmas stuff out so we can start to decorate the house. I do have my snowman table cloth on the table but so far that is all, hopefully that will change my the end of the week.

Well I think I am off to bed, we have church then choir lunch and practice tomorrow so I am in for another long day.
Good night all!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I can not believe that it is Thanksgiving time already, it seems like we just did this.

For the first time I will be having Thanksgiving Dinner at my house. Well the first time since we have been in Florida. When we lived in California we had dinner at our house every year, all of Tom's friends that did not have family out there would come to our house for a home cooked meal. We always had a house full of guys, sometimes I miss that, it seems like a lifetime ago.

So Happy Thanksgiving everyone, enjoy the holiday season, before we know it it will all be over!!!

*Thank you God for another great year, it has been a trying year but a great one. Every trail that we go through brings us closer to you and for that I am thankful.*

Why do womaen act the way they do...

I know that is probably a open ended question but it is one that I just have to ask-let me explain...

Today was Kirsti's state band competition in Brandenton so Tom, Britney and I headed down there to help out( this is after a football game last night where they preformed so we were out late and had to be back at the school by 9:00 am this morning). Last night before the game it was kind of decided who would help with what and I was supposed to help with the flags and Tom was working with some other flags as well as doing "pit crew", so that was all set- well we get to the school this morning to finish packing the trailer and I was treated like I wasn't there( now let me say this- I do not help out at the football games, Tom does but I just haven't yet sometimes there are too many "chiefs"( no pun intended) and not enough Indians) well I told Tom that I felt useless but I was willing to put that aside and do what I could- we got to Brandenton and starting unloading and they were handing out armbands(to get into the competition) and I noticed that I was not going to be getting one so I told Tom that I didn't think I was going to get one and that if I had to buy one that was fine I would- during all of this I would try to help and was either ignored or told no- well Tom asked one of the ladies and I got an arm band and the lady told me to take a cooler of water to the band and stay with this other lady that was over there so me and Britney headed in that direction- when I got over there I asked the lady if she was Sue(not her real name) and very ugly she looked at me and said yea with a awful attitude so I told her that I brought the water over and again with a nasty look and an attitude she said OK. At this point I was ready to go home, I was almost in tears but I thought nope not going to happen. So another lady came over and I could tell they were talking about me and giving me really nasty looks and making comments loud enough for me to hear- but I was trying to be good and not cause a scene-I called Tom and told him to bring me some cash that I was going to give them their money back for the stupid armband-so he did and he asked me what was wrong so I told him-he walked over to where the group of women were and was talking to them and at one point I heard Tom say" well she just wanted to come and help" well Tom was talking to them for a while then it was time to give the band some water and I starting helping to pass it out when the president of the band boosters came over and said that she wanted to apologize for the "misunderstanding" earlier but last night when we were talking and assigning "jobs" that they had not realized that the lady in charge of the volunteers already had all the volunteers that she needed and that they usually only use parents that have been helping from the beginning and I told her that was fine but the way I was treated makes me not want to help at all and how do they expect new parents to help when they are treated like they are not wanted and that all of the comments were not needed and very hurtful and she said I know and that she apologizes for that. I accepted her apology and the day went on and everyone started letting me help and started kind of "talking" to me (it was almost like they felt they had to). Actually when they preformed I was on the field too-I had to help hold props-they did really good but unfortunately they did not make it to state finals.

So back to my original question... Why do women act the way they do? The guys didn't act like that. I will never understand why women have to be so katty, just because someone new that has not helped at football games wants to help they are treated like dirt- I would think the more help the better but I guess not in this situation.

Saturday...

It has been a very nice and quiet Saturday and boy did I need it.

We got up early and went to Ashlee's solo and ensemble this morning and she did really good. After that we came home and I laid down for a couples of hours then got up, cooked dinner then sat and watched a movie with the family. It has been nice to just hang out.
Here are a few pictures of my crazy family...just wanted to share them...











Well it is getting late and we have church tomorrow so I need to finish up all of my mom duties for the night then head to bed to spend sometime with my man.
Good night all!!
*Lord I am expecting you to show up in a big way tomorrow and I know that you won't let me down. I love you more and more everyday*

An end to a pretty good week...

It is Friday and I am glad.

It had been a good week just a long one. Nothing exciting happening just everyday stuff.

Tom's work is going good and Kirsti is back in school. Ashlee has solo and ensemble tomorrow morning, early, so there will be no sleeping in but it is worth it. I love to watch my girls preform, it makes me so proud of them.
Well it is getting late and I am really really tired so I think I am going to bed now.
Sleep tight everyone!!!

Girls day out...

I had a great day today.

My mom called me last night and said that we all needed (me, my mom, and my sisters) to go to lunch and shopping so we did. We had a blast, it was nice to be with them, we don't get to do that very often and I love it when we do. Tom and Kirsti went to watch Jordan's first soccer game and Ashlee and Britney stayed homed ( they had to finish some chores around the house). Now we are all home and watching comedy central and just relaxing.

We have choir practice tomorrow after church so I had to make my food, Ashlee wanted to make mac & cheese with bacon so I did. I like doing practice this way, we eat lunch together then have practice for a couple of hours and then go home. I don't have to worry about going back out, once I'm home I'm home. I love practice, I love hanging out with the choir, someone made a comment last time about all of us getting along so well and we really do. Unfortunately that is not true with alot of choirs but we really love each other and would do anything for each other. I am so glad that I am part of a church that really loves each other, we don't just say it we really mean it.

I thank God everyday for my natural family and my church family. I would not change anything in my life for the world. Yes we have been through a rough month but God is in control and He has never let me down and He never will. If I am not happy and thankful for what I have then God will not bless me with any more.

*Thank you God for being you!!! You are the best.*

The ending of a good week...

Well another week has come and gone and all is well on the Garland front.

Tom is loving his new job and I am loving the fact that he has a job. The girls are doing great. Kirsti gets to go back to school on Wednesday( Tuesday is a holiday) and Ashlee and Britney are still loving school. They both got their report cards this week and they both did really good. Ashlee made high honor roll ( I am so proud of her, she has all high school classes) and Britney got all A's and B's and one C, s so all is well with school.
I know alot of people are concerned with out come of the election and I am also but we are past that now, we are at the point now to where we need to pray for our country. I have to believe that God is in control and we have to trust that He knows what the future hold and what is best for us.

*Thank you God for your love and mercy, even when we don't deserve it*

Happy 14th Birthday...

Today is Ashlee's 14th birthday.

I can not believe that she is that old already, it seems like just yesterday she was born and now she is taller than me. She is such a good kid, yes she has her moments, she is a teenager I wouldn't expect anything different, but for the most part she is a good kid. We are having the family over for dinner tonight, just something small. She wants to use the China so I told her I would pull it all out.
Happy Birthday Ashlee, we love you so much and I am so glad that God chose me to be your mom!!!

God is still in control!!!!!

Not that I ever doubted that but sometimes I have to be reminded.

TOM GOT A JOB AND HE STARTS MONDAY!!!!!!! It has been a long time coming but it has finally arrived. We still have a long way to come but we are well on our way.
So I want to thank you all for your prayers and ask that you still keep us in your prayer, we still have alot of things to catch up on but with God's help we will make it through and come out in top.

WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!!!

Free

This is one of my favorite songs.
For anyone that has known me for any length of time you know this song is me!!

Still hanging on...

Well it has been a crazy few days to say the least!!!

Tom is still without work and Kirsti got suspended from school.
This time we believe she was punished too harshly. It is a long story and one that I really don't want to go into here on my blog but what it boils down to is that she was helping a friend but went about it the wrong. We believe she should have been punished for her part but not as harshly. (If anyone wants to know the exact details you can talk to me and I will let you know.) So needless to say she will not be marching in the last two regular season football games, she was pretty upset about that but she is dealing with it OK, she understands what she did was wrong so it was a learning experience.
Other than that everything is the same. Tom is still out of work but he has a very good possibility tomorrow so keep the prayers coming. I know that God has something big in store for us we just have to be patient and wait on Him.

*Lord help us to have the faith we need to wait on you and to know that you have everything under control*

Late Friday

I am finally home and heading off to bed. Kirsti had am away football game tonight so it was really late. We didn't get home until after midnight so I am really tired. The band did great and the football team won, they are undefeated. Well just wanted to drop by and say Hi and let everyone know that we are still hanging on. Tom is supposed to take his tools down to his new job tomorrow, so far all is well. Just keeping the prayers going up, we still have a long way to go and alot to get through but with God's love and grace we will make it through.
We will overcome!!!!

My theme song...

Right now this is the song that I am holding on to. It is helping me to see that with Jesus we can overcome ANYTHING!!

Quiet Tuesday...

Today has been a pretty quiet day, which is good.
I am feeling a little better today too, had a nice evening last night. Tom and I went to the hot tube last night, by ourselves, it was nice. Had time to talk and reconnect. We both have felt a million miles apart but we are better now. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own thing that we forget about each other. But like I said we are much better now. Going to have dinner with my sister and her family tonight which is always fun. I love my nephew so much, he is 4 1/2 but he thinks he is about 16 or 17. He is so funny and I love spending time with him.
Thanks for all of your prayers, keep them coming we still need them. It is a day by day process.

Finally...

Well Tom finally heard some news today. It is looking like he will be starting a job on Monday, just not sure what shift yet. We will still have another week with no paycheck though but God will get us through it.

*Thank you Lord for answering our prayers. I know you are in control, sometimes it is just hard for me to let go and let You do your thing but thanks for loving me anyway.*

Masks....

I am so tired of putting on a happy face when I go out!!!


There I said it, I never believed that I really did that until today. I said to myself today,"I am so tired of being nice and happy, I don't want to be any more", of course I didn't say it to anyone just inside my head, but I wanted to.
I have been going through so much with Tom being out of work that I can not put it into words. All I do when we are home is either lay in bed and watch T.V. or go to bed and sleep. I don't want to do anything or really talk to anyone. I try not to be short with the girls but it is so hard. I try to be as nice as I can but it really takes alot, I mean alot, out of me. I am short with Tom and again I try not to be I am just so scared and upset that I don't know what to do. I feel like everything is slipping away and I don't know how to hold onto it.
*Lord help me hold on, I know you are teaching me something through this just please let me hold on long enough to learn it. I am so tired of going through this and I don't know how much longer I can do it. I need you now more then ever!!!*

Ladies Night!!!!

I had a blast tonight with some of the ladies from church. We had ladies night, it was supposed to be dinner and a movie but needless to say we never got around to the movie part. We talked, laughed and just spent time with old friends and made some new ones. I really really needed this after the week I have had, it felt good to laugh.

PD this was an absolute hit, we must do it again!!!

Waiting.....

why do we have to wait, that is one of the hardest things for me. Maybe that is why God is making me wait right now. Pray for strength and patience as I wait on the Lord.

God...

I am trusting you. I am letting go of the rope.

Some Good News!!!

Well the call came and it is looking good so far. We will know more after tomorrow afternoon. Keep bombarding heaven on our behave, we need it.

Love ya

Praying for a Breakthrough

Please agree with me today, all of my friends, that today will be the day that the breakthrough comes. It is amazing how much can ride on one phone call!!!

That call will come today, I have to believe it will.
With God all things are possible!!!!!

Why?????

Why is it that every time you step out and are ready to go to the next level with God something always comes along and pulls the rug out from under you? Why? Why?

Hubby Meme...

Never done one of these before but this one looked fun so here I go.......

Here are the rules: grab the graphic and insert with these rules, in your post. Give at least 5 reasons why you love your hubby. List more if you want. Tag 5 people (or more) to play along and link to their blogs in your post.Then visit those women’s blogs and leave them a comment on any of their posts. Now that I have shared the rules, it’s my time to share my reasons:

1.He has always been there for me, no matter what.



2.He believes in me when I don't believe in myself



3.I absolutely love it when he shaves his head... that is sooooo sexy to me.




4.I love to watch him worship in church(that means more to me then anyone will ever know)



5.He would do anything for his girls, no matter how silly he looked doing it.





I know that you are reading this honey and I love you more today then the day we were married and my love for you keeps growing.

I am loving growing old with you!!!

My mind is made up.....

I am going to be part of the solution!!!! No more lip service, I will do what God leads me to do. Any where, any time, any place!!!!!!! Use me God, like never before. Help me to be the answer to some one's prayer. I am here Lord, use me!!!

A Nice Quiet Day....

I so needed this day...a day to just sit at home and watch TV and turn everything else off.

P.S. Keep my mom in your prayers, she is in the hospital. Hopefully we will finally fine out what is going on!!

Dear God....

Help me to see myself through your eyes!!!

Thought for the Day

The God of the universe loves and cares for ME!!!

Today is the day!!!

Well we are moving today... I know it is not something I have blogged about (haven't had the time) but we are moving. Tom and the girls along with a few others are at the house right now loading the truck.
We are moving to place off of Bruce B Downs, very nice place. We are so excited, this move has been a long time coming, we have talked about it and talked about it but the time was never right but we finally made up our minds at the beginning of the month that this was it, we are doing it. There are alot of reason why but nothing I want to go into here but I will just say that it is a move for the betterment of MY family.
So the next week or so is going to be super crazy, the girls start their new schools on Monday. Ashlee was a little scared but we went to her Open House last night and she feels much better about the whole thing, she loves every one of her teachers. Tonight we go to Britney's Open House so hopefully she will as happy as Ashlee was. Neither one of the girls put up a fight about the whole new school thing they were just a little nervous but they will be fine, they adjust really well. Kirsti will be staying at Chamberlain, she is the one that does not adjust well, but she is on special assignment anyway plus she only has 2 more years of high school so she is just staying put.
Well just wanted to drop in and let you know what has been going on in my life... a little crazy but well worth it in the end.
Thank you God for all of your blessings and allowing us to get this new place, we know without you none of this would be possible. We give you all the glory and honor!!!!!

Rain, Rain, Rain

I know it has been a while but just haven't felt must like blogging, not that anything is wrong just haven't felt like it. But today I thought I would write a little and update what has been going on.
Well first of all it has been raining soooooo much, maybe that is why I haven't felt like writing, so it has been dark and dreary.
Girls are home from vacation but now Britney is at kid's camp (today is her birthday and I really miss her, she is 10 and this is the first time she has been away on her birthday). It is great to have them home... as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder (lol), no I really love my girls and they are being really good, no fighting or anything like that. Kirsti is having a GREAT attitude and for her that is huge. Ashlee is her normal loving crazy self ( no one is quit like Ashlee).
Guess what... we are moving!!! No not far but we are moving to a beautiful apartment in New Tampa off of Bruce B Downs. It is so nice and I can't wait to move.
Last Sunday at church Pastor Larry preached about help being on the way, boy did that speak alot to me. Tom and I have been struggling for so long and it finally feels like we have caught a break. Getting this apartment means so much to us, I know you may think, why in the world are you so excited about an apartment, well this is such a nice apartment and I can not believe we were approved for it. It is what Tom and I have always wanted and we are finally getting it... Help Is On The Way!!!!!

Thank you God for being there for me... always. Thank you for all of your blessings and your love!!

To My Girls...I Love You!!!

You know how you can hear a song a millions times but never really HEAR it? Well that happened to me today on the way to the store. I have heard this song so many times and I have always loved it but I had never really listened to it and I tell you what when I did the tears started to flow.I had to share it with you all, I hope this songs speaks to you as loudly as it did me.

I want to dedicate this to my 3 girls, you all mean so much to me and no matter what you will always be...

SAFE IN MY ARMS!!!

A Nice Relaxing Saturday...

Today was a very peaceful day. I slept in till about 11:30 and it felt so goooood!!!!

The girls made it back from camp yesterday then they were off to Kentucky, yes I have another 10 days with no kids. I have to say it is nice but I do miss my girls. It is very strange, it is just me and Tom, we have never had any real time alone in our almost 16 years of marriage. We have gone off for weekends away but never any real time alone at home together and it is nice.

I had a ton of laundry to catch up on today and I had to clean up our room ( it was a mess). It felt good to have the time to get in there and clean, I know that may sound weird to some but for me cleaning my room makes me feel good, like I accomplished something, especially when it was as bad as it was.

Well Tom ran to the store to get stuff for dinner (it is also weird jsut cooking for 2), he should be home soon, so I guess I need to go. Not sure what we are having, with Tom you never know.

Looking foward to church tomorrow, God has been moving in some awsome ways in our services lately, can't wait to see what God has instore for us tomorrow.

Love Ya

How do you know that you are doing what God has called you to?

I know this may seem to be a strange question but I think it is one we all struggle with from time to time. I believe that God can call you to different things at different times in your life, but I also believe that your core being never changes.


What do I mean by that, well I believe that if you are called to work with children that you will always work with children in some way. You may start off working with one age group then move to another but I believe you will always have a call to work with children. If you are called to work with women, your heart will always be with women in some way although the specific type of ministry you do may change from time to time.

So what is all of this about....

Every time I feel like I am on the right track and doing exactly what God has called me to something happens to make me doubt my calling. And to be honest I am tired of it, I know what I am called to and I love what I do I am just so sick of doubting myself. I know that it is just Satan trying to distract me but I get so tired of fighting the battle. I see in my mind everything that I want to do, all of the girls' lives I want to make a difference in, all the faces of the girls in this world that need to know how much they are loved by God and I feel so small and insignificant. I feel like there is no way I can do this, what makes me qualified to do all of this, who do I think I am to think I can make a difference. Then God will gently remind me that he does not call the qualified he qualifies the called and that He will give me everything I need to succeed in what He has called me to do.

A person I look up to very much has said on many occasions that if your dreams do not keep you up at night then they are too small, well my keep me up and they scare me to death so I guess I am on the right track, right.

I loved my girls ( I call them all my girls) and I would do anything in the world for them. I thank God everyday that he chose me to teach and guide these precious girls.

I am exactly where God wants me and I can't wait to see the way everything is going to unfold in my life.

*God help me to always remember who I am, I am your chosen, I can make a difference and I am worthy of this call you have put on my life. Thank you God for choosing me.*

Birthdays, Retreats, Parties, and Business Trips...

It has been a crazy week...in the last couples of weeks we have had 4 birthdays and 4 birthday parties , Father's Day, a trip to Stars retreat and Tom is in Georgia for a business trip.

I have not had alot of time to blog or really stop and think but I figured I would drop in a give you a little update on what has been going on. Right now Tom is in Georgia for a business trip, this is the first time in 12 years that he has been gone for more than an over night trip and the girls have not been too excited about it. I do have to admit that it is a little harder than I thought it would be, I guess I have gotten use to him being home. He will get home Friday just in time for Kirsti's 16th birthday party. That is something else that I have going on, a party for Kirsti, I can not believe she is 16, boy time has just flown by. OK, for the rest of the birthdays this month, mine and my two sisters are also in June, so needless to say June is always a busy birthday month for our family.

Last week I also took some girls from church to Stars retreat, they had a blast. It was such an awesome weekend. I think the girls really got a lot out of the services, I know I did.

Well not too much insight or earth shattering stuff just the run down on what has been going on with my life. I will try to catch everyone up on what God has been doing in me lately after I get past all of the craziness.

*Happy Birthday To Me*

Yes today is my birthday and one thing that I have noticed it how your birthdays change over the years.
Let me explain...

*When you are a kid you announce for weeks (some of us months) that our birthday is coming, we want everyone to know. The older you get the quieter the announcing gets, yes you want to feel special on your day but it doesn't seem quit as important as it did before.

*When you are a kid you want gifts from everyone you see that day and at times you even ask what they got for you, you don't wait for them to approach you, you go after them. The older you get the more you appreciate a simple Happy Birthday from those close to you, that more than anything else is what you want, the acknowledgment that it is your "special" day. Don't get me wrong I still love presents but they don't seem quit as important as they did before.

*When you are a kid you can't wait to get up the morning of your birthday(you want your day to start as early as possible) and you try to stay up as late as you can (you want your day to last as long as possible). The older you get the one thing that you would love on your birthday is to be able to sleep in and go to bed early.

Those are just a few of the difference I am experiencing today.

Thank you to all of my dear friends who have wished me a Happy Birthday today. You have given the best gift ever, the gift of your friendship and love!!

Dealing with... CONSEQUENCES!!!

Why do we have to face consequences?!?!?! It hurts! It is not fun...at all!!


Last weekend I had such a huge break through and I felt on top of the world because I knew that Jesus had set me free and I still feel free but now comes the dreaded CONSEQUENCES!!
When we are dealing with issues and people help us through that issue or pray us through that issue we think , wow that is it... it is over I can move on and never have to deal with that again. That is true to an extent but we still do have to face the consequences of our actions. I am not sure why I didn't see this coming, I tell my girls all the time that there are consequences for everything you do so you better be able to deal with them when you make a bad decision. So why did I think I was any different? I had made bad decisions for a long time- did I think I was going to just skate by and not have to deal with my own consequences?
Boy was I wrong!!! I know God is big enough to see me through any situation but man I really don't want to have to go through this. I now have to look at every decision I have made in the past, weather it was to buy a candy bar or buy a new outfit and deal with it. To know that we are in the place we are now because of things that I allowed to control me, and you know what, it really sucks. I know some of it is the devil beating me up over it but lets face it God does give us consequences for our behavior and we have to walk through it weather we like it or not. Yes,I know I am not alone and that God is right there with me but sometimes it sure does feel lonely.
I have a sweet 16 party to throw in a couple of weeks and to be completely honest I don't know how I am going to do it, the money is just not there. But I will do without what ever I have to so I can give her this party.

Consequences... don't ever think you are too old to have to face them!!!

Freedom!!!

Why do we find it so hard to admit we have a problem? We are all human so why do we find it so hard to admit it? Everybody struggles with one thing or another but we find it so hard to reach out and ask for help when we need it. I don't understand this and I probably never will but I tell you what, today was an eye opening day for me and I will tell you why.

We had a women's event at church today and it was just what I needed. The workshop were great, the praise and worship was great, the drama team was great. But that was not all God had it store for me, he had freedom in store for me.

I will try to explain as much as I can...

I hate to start this way but I guess it all started when I was a little girl. My grandmother would come over on Saturday mornings with donuts and we would sit, talk and laugh. Then never fail she would say, hey I have to run to the mall does anyone want to go and I seemed to be the one that would always go. Boy did I love those times, she was all mine for that afternoon, we would go from store to store and pick up things here and there, then we would end up eating lunch and before I knew it is was time to head home. This went on just about every Saturday until Spring Break of my Senior year in high school when she passed away suddenly and when I say suddenly I mean she took my sisters to school that morning, I was supposed to go over to her house that weekend, but by Friday night she was gone. I thought my life was over, I was 7 months pregnant with Kirsti and my life (at least it felt like it ) was over. I hate to blame my problems today on this one event but looking back I guess that is where it started. The one time I felt good and alive was when I was shopping, I guess it made me feel like I was with her again and having the time of my life, like everything was OK. But as time went on and I got older whenever I was feeling down or like I didn't measure up I would shop, and I tell you what I could shop and shop. But when I got home and got all of my "new" stuff opened and unpacked I would feel so guilty and so awful and I would hate myself because I would not spend money that we could afford to spend it was money that we really couldn't afford. We never went without food or anything like that but my problem has kept us from being able to have alittle bit of breathing room. We live from payday to payday and I know that it is my fault but I could never control it until today.

And that is where the FREEDOM part of my day comes in..

When the alter call came she started asking people with addiction to come forward ( I have heard this alter call sooooo many times but I never responded, addictions are for people who are dealing with drugs or alchocol or something like that) but she said it, if you are dealing with addiction to things like...SHOPPING... and that was it, the tears started and I couldn't sit in that chair any longer, I had to get off my butt and give this thing over to God once and for all. Of course the first thing the devil throws at me is , this is YOUR home church and you are responding to an alter call for people with addictions, what are people going to think, but you know what I didn't care, I had to get this thing off of me and I did. I have never felt so free in my entire life. And you know what this may not sound like a big deal to most but this evening Tom and I had to stop by Sam's and I had no urge to buy myself anything. I walked in got what we needed and walk out and it felt so good.

Yes I know that this is going to be an uphill battle but I am ready for the fight this time and I will conquer this ADDICTION that I have.

There I said it, I have an addiction to shopping and it will no longer control me, I will control it!!!

Thank you God for your freedom!!