Birthdays, Retreats, Parties, and Business Trips...

It has been a crazy week...in the last couples of weeks we have had 4 birthdays and 4 birthday parties , Father's Day, a trip to Stars retreat and Tom is in Georgia for a business trip.

I have not had alot of time to blog or really stop and think but I figured I would drop in a give you a little update on what has been going on. Right now Tom is in Georgia for a business trip, this is the first time in 12 years that he has been gone for more than an over night trip and the girls have not been too excited about it. I do have to admit that it is a little harder than I thought it would be, I guess I have gotten use to him being home. He will get home Friday just in time for Kirsti's 16th birthday party. That is something else that I have going on, a party for Kirsti, I can not believe she is 16, boy time has just flown by. OK, for the rest of the birthdays this month, mine and my two sisters are also in June, so needless to say June is always a busy birthday month for our family.

Last week I also took some girls from church to Stars retreat, they had a blast. It was such an awesome weekend. I think the girls really got a lot out of the services, I know I did.

Well not too much insight or earth shattering stuff just the run down on what has been going on with my life. I will try to catch everyone up on what God has been doing in me lately after I get past all of the craziness.

*Happy Birthday To Me*

Yes today is my birthday and one thing that I have noticed it how your birthdays change over the years.
Let me explain...

*When you are a kid you announce for weeks (some of us months) that our birthday is coming, we want everyone to know. The older you get the quieter the announcing gets, yes you want to feel special on your day but it doesn't seem quit as important as it did before.

*When you are a kid you want gifts from everyone you see that day and at times you even ask what they got for you, you don't wait for them to approach you, you go after them. The older you get the more you appreciate a simple Happy Birthday from those close to you, that more than anything else is what you want, the acknowledgment that it is your "special" day. Don't get me wrong I still love presents but they don't seem quit as important as they did before.

*When you are a kid you can't wait to get up the morning of your birthday(you want your day to start as early as possible) and you try to stay up as late as you can (you want your day to last as long as possible). The older you get the one thing that you would love on your birthday is to be able to sleep in and go to bed early.

Those are just a few of the difference I am experiencing today.

Thank you to all of my dear friends who have wished me a Happy Birthday today. You have given the best gift ever, the gift of your friendship and love!!

Dealing with... CONSEQUENCES!!!

Why do we have to face consequences?!?!?! It hurts! It is not fun...at all!!


Last weekend I had such a huge break through and I felt on top of the world because I knew that Jesus had set me free and I still feel free but now comes the dreaded CONSEQUENCES!!
When we are dealing with issues and people help us through that issue or pray us through that issue we think , wow that is it... it is over I can move on and never have to deal with that again. That is true to an extent but we still do have to face the consequences of our actions. I am not sure why I didn't see this coming, I tell my girls all the time that there are consequences for everything you do so you better be able to deal with them when you make a bad decision. So why did I think I was any different? I had made bad decisions for a long time- did I think I was going to just skate by and not have to deal with my own consequences?
Boy was I wrong!!! I know God is big enough to see me through any situation but man I really don't want to have to go through this. I now have to look at every decision I have made in the past, weather it was to buy a candy bar or buy a new outfit and deal with it. To know that we are in the place we are now because of things that I allowed to control me, and you know what, it really sucks. I know some of it is the devil beating me up over it but lets face it God does give us consequences for our behavior and we have to walk through it weather we like it or not. Yes,I know I am not alone and that God is right there with me but sometimes it sure does feel lonely.
I have a sweet 16 party to throw in a couple of weeks and to be completely honest I don't know how I am going to do it, the money is just not there. But I will do without what ever I have to so I can give her this party.

Consequences... don't ever think you are too old to have to face them!!!

Freedom!!!

Why do we find it so hard to admit we have a problem? We are all human so why do we find it so hard to admit it? Everybody struggles with one thing or another but we find it so hard to reach out and ask for help when we need it. I don't understand this and I probably never will but I tell you what, today was an eye opening day for me and I will tell you why.

We had a women's event at church today and it was just what I needed. The workshop were great, the praise and worship was great, the drama team was great. But that was not all God had it store for me, he had freedom in store for me.

I will try to explain as much as I can...

I hate to start this way but I guess it all started when I was a little girl. My grandmother would come over on Saturday mornings with donuts and we would sit, talk and laugh. Then never fail she would say, hey I have to run to the mall does anyone want to go and I seemed to be the one that would always go. Boy did I love those times, she was all mine for that afternoon, we would go from store to store and pick up things here and there, then we would end up eating lunch and before I knew it is was time to head home. This went on just about every Saturday until Spring Break of my Senior year in high school when she passed away suddenly and when I say suddenly I mean she took my sisters to school that morning, I was supposed to go over to her house that weekend, but by Friday night she was gone. I thought my life was over, I was 7 months pregnant with Kirsti and my life (at least it felt like it ) was over. I hate to blame my problems today on this one event but looking back I guess that is where it started. The one time I felt good and alive was when I was shopping, I guess it made me feel like I was with her again and having the time of my life, like everything was OK. But as time went on and I got older whenever I was feeling down or like I didn't measure up I would shop, and I tell you what I could shop and shop. But when I got home and got all of my "new" stuff opened and unpacked I would feel so guilty and so awful and I would hate myself because I would not spend money that we could afford to spend it was money that we really couldn't afford. We never went without food or anything like that but my problem has kept us from being able to have alittle bit of breathing room. We live from payday to payday and I know that it is my fault but I could never control it until today.

And that is where the FREEDOM part of my day comes in..

When the alter call came she started asking people with addiction to come forward ( I have heard this alter call sooooo many times but I never responded, addictions are for people who are dealing with drugs or alchocol or something like that) but she said it, if you are dealing with addiction to things like...SHOPPING... and that was it, the tears started and I couldn't sit in that chair any longer, I had to get off my butt and give this thing over to God once and for all. Of course the first thing the devil throws at me is , this is YOUR home church and you are responding to an alter call for people with addictions, what are people going to think, but you know what I didn't care, I had to get this thing off of me and I did. I have never felt so free in my entire life. And you know what this may not sound like a big deal to most but this evening Tom and I had to stop by Sam's and I had no urge to buy myself anything. I walked in got what we needed and walk out and it felt so good.

Yes I know that this is going to be an uphill battle but I am ready for the fight this time and I will conquer this ADDICTION that I have.

There I said it, I have an addiction to shopping and it will no longer control me, I will control it!!!

Thank you God for your freedom!!

A Little Different

I have a question and I know that this may be a little different but I am deseparate so here is my question....

How do you keep your teenage daughter away form the wrong boy? We have talked, we have told her why we feel the way we do but nothing seems to get through. I don't want to push her towards him even more so how do I handle this?

Please comment me back and give me some advice on how to handle this situation, I really need it.

Thanks!!

Its Summer Time....

I can not believe it but this school year has come to an end.
Today was the last day of school and my girls couldn't be happier. They all got out early today so Tom's mom did the rounds for me and pick everyone up then they were going to be heading back to the house for a dip in the pool. I will not know for a couple of weeks but I am praying that everyone passed all of their classes. Britney got her report card today but the other two will be mailed home so we just have to wait and see. All in all this year was not too bad, we had a couple of bumps in the road but nothing to life altering.
All three of my girls have done some major growing up this year and I am so proud of all of them. Kirsti will be a junior next year and that is just so unbelievable, it seems like yesterday that she was starting kindergarten and now look at her. Ashlee will be in 8th grade (her last year of middle school) and Britney will be in 5th grade (her last year of elementary school). I can not believe how fast they are growing up, before I know it they are going to be out on their own.
I guess I am just feeling a little old today, but you know what, it is OK. I am truly looking forward to my kids growing up and having a life of their own. Besides that, Tom and I have never had a time where it was just us and you know what we are looking forward to that also.
Life is good , I can't complain!!
Thank you Lord for another safe school year behind us, we are truly blessed!!