Good-bye......

what does that word really mean?

I think it means something different for everyone. For some it means the end of something and for others it means the beginning of something. I never really gave the word much thought until these last few months.....and I have learned what that words means for me(at least I think I have).

For me it means the beginning of something new. Yes it also meant I had to leave behind everything I have known but I really think it was time. It is hard to put into words what I am talking about but I will try. See I think I had gotten too comfortable.....comfortable in my life, in my job, in my friendships, with my family. I know some reading this may not understand and this may even hurt their feeling but in no way is that my intention. I believe there comes a point in every ones life where you have to ask yourself, 'what am I doing and am I happy'. To be honest I wasn't happy, I can't explain why, I just know that I wasn't.....but no moving was not a decision that Tom and I came to easily it was the hardest decision we have ever had to make but we both knew it was something that we had to do. Do I think everything will magically be fixed because we live in a different state.....NO.....that would be very naive of me....but I believe it is a start....and we all need a fresh start from time to time.

Let me clarify something....I love all of my family and friends very much and I am going to miss them all more then I can ever put into words and I can never replace the friendship that I left in Florida and I would never even try. But I know my true friends...the ones closest to me will understand and still love me. And I just say friends cause I know my family will always understand and be there for me.

I hope all of this rambling makes sense to someone because I am not sure it does to me......

Love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WORDS.....

have you ever really stopped and thought about them? We use them every single day without ever realizing it both spoken and unspoken. Sometimes an unspoken word it the one that is heard louder then the spoken one.

-How are you using your "spoken" words in your day to day life?

-Are you choosing to use them for good or bad?

- Are you aware of your words or do they just "happen"?

-Do you stop and think about how your words will affect those around you?

-Do you choose to add your "words" to a situation that you do not know much about or that you only know about from a third party?

-Do you stop to find out details before you add your "words" to a conversation?

-Are you using your words as a weapon to right some wrong weather real or imagined?

-How are you using your "unspoken" words in you day to day life?

-How do you treat that person that you have "heard" something about?

-Are you ignoring that "new" person because of the way they look?

-Are you telling your kids that you love them by more then your words but with your actions?

-Are you there to support the ones you love in every situation rather you "agree" with it or not?

I have been thinking alot lately about how our words are used to either speak life or death...blessing or curse to a situation. I try everyday to use my words as a hope to someone....not to put down. I know I do not always measure up the way I should but I am trying....and I have to admit some days I don't "try" as hard as I should.

I will leave you with this...the next time you feel it is your "right" to use your words to correct, speak your mind, or undermine someone stop and think......how would I feel if these same words were spoken to me. And the next time you choose to treat someone differently because you think you "know" what is going on stop and ask that person what is going on...you may be surprised how much you DON'T know about a situation.

This one is for you honey....

Today was....

a pretty hard day. Its was the first day of my new normal, the first day back to school and work without Tom here. I tried to put on a brave face but it was hard. I talked to him on Face Book a couple of times and on the phone but it was not the same.

Spring Break was fun but I wonder if it was the best idea. Tom and I said our good-byes on the Wednesday before he had to be at work and that was tough but then I had to tell him good-bye again and this time it felt even worse. I know I will get through this and that it is just for a season but it is tough.

Now I have to get in the frame of mind of packing and going through things and getting rid of things. Ashlee and Britney started yesterday, they cleaned out their closet and got 2 big boxes of things to give away (I am just happy that they cleaned their closet out, I don't think they have ever done that before...lol).

When I am afraid, I will trust in you

Psalm 56:3

I know....

change is never easy…if it was it would not be a big deal…right.

This is probably one of the hardest weeks of my life yet one of the most exciting…does that makes sense. Me and the kids are in Tennessee on Spring Break and we are having so much fun, driving around taking pictures and just having a good time but this is also my last week with Tom for 2 ½ months.

For those of you who may not know yet let me explain…we are moving to Tennessee in June. Tom got a job and started working last Thursday so he has already moved, he is staying with his mom until June which is when the kids and I are moving. Why June you may be wondering….we want Kirsti to graduate from Chamberlain and we want the other two to finish this school year so that is why we are waiting until then.

I am not looking forward to leaving this Saturday, this will be only the second time we have been apart for a long period of time. The first time of course was when Tom was in the Marines and he was sent overseas for 6 months, thank God this time will only be for 2 ½ months but that is still a long time. The 12 hour drive home is going to be hell but I am going to have to try and keep it together for the kids. They are taking it hard too but I don’t think it is really going to hit them until we start heading back to Florida and Tom has to stay.

We both really feel that this is the next step that God has for our family but we never realized how hard it was going to be. So I am asking for you to pray for me and my family…this couple of months is going to be hard but it will all be worth it in the end.

Help me to remember...

I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

*Lord give me the faith to TRUST you....no matter what*

Another one of my favorite songs....

Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace

Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace

*Thank you God for seeing the true me... no matter what*

What Faith Can Do......

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

I love love love this song....it speaks so loudly to me right now

Saying good-bye.....

is never easy but I have learned that it is a part of life.

We had a farewell reception for our Children's Pastor and his family yesterday but they were so much more then just our Children's Pastor.

I remember the first time I meet his wife (Misty), it was at our Princess Luncheon. She looked so nervous but I knew after talking to her just once that we were going to be good friends. Little did I know at the time that I would end up babysitting their daughter, Cece. It was all God, I was quiting my job and they were having a problem with the childcare so I stepped in to help. During that time I really got close to not only the kids but to Misty and Trinity and we had a blast. I loved spending time with them and our families got very close. We watched each others kids grow, Pastor T saw Ashlee and Britney move from children's church to youth and he and Misty both invested so much in their lives, and I truly believe that they are the young ladies of God today because of the things they learned in children's church.

Misty and Trinity you both will be GREATLY missed!!!!!!!! We love you and you will always have a special place in our hearts.

And T thanks for all the awesome staff lunches....they won't be the same without you!!!!!!

Another week....

has come and gone. Nothing too exciting going on here, same stuff just a different day.

Went to a Women's Conference this weekend with the Life Coaching Ladies and had a blast...as always. I love spending time with these ladies, they have enriched my life so much and I will forever be grateful to them for that.

Life at home is normal. Kirsti got her first job and she is loving it, well she is actually loving the paychecks...lol. Everyone is doing good in school, FCATS are this week so the girls are a little stressed about that but they always do really well on them so I am not sure why they stress so bad but they do. Austin is working on finishing his school and should be able to take his test for his diploma is a little while.

Tom's work is going good. Slow from time to time but it is picking up some. Him and Austin have a couple of jobs lined up and are working on getting more accounts, so we will see.

That is how life has been going in our world for the last week or so....not too exciting but its life!!!!!!!!!!

WHY.....

* is it soooo hard for some people to believe that other people can change?

* is it soooo wrong to want something more for your life?

* is it soooo hard for people to let go of the past?

* is it soooo hard for people to be happy for others?

* is it soooo wrong to want to move on with your life?

* is it soooo wrong to want to be treated with respect?

These are just a few question I have running around in my head right now. I wish people could let things go and learn to live their own lives and not be so concerned about what others are doing with their lives!!!!!!!

Tennessee....

is where I am at right now. We had to make a trip up here because of a death in the family. Tom's step-dad passed away on Thursday so we headed out on Friday evening. It wasn't a bad trip, we made really good time, only took about 10 hours. We will be heading home Monday after the service.

The kids have been making the most of the trip, taking pictures and cutting up and having a good time. I know it is not going to be fun for them at the services but I am glad that they are having a good time right now.

Tom's new job is going well. I have to say it is a little weird him going to work by walking down the hall but he is loving it.

Well I will try and post at least one more time before we leave but for now it is time to relax and enjoy the Tennessee view.

I'm ready......

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

This verse has been bouncing around in my head today so I thought I would share it with you.

This is my year to learn to "let go and let God" and it can sometimes be alot easier said then done. But as you always hear,'if it was easy then everybody would be able to do it', and that is true. God has so much in store for me this year and there may be some battles that I have to fight and then there may be times I have to sit back and let God fight it for me and I am OK with that. I am not saying it will be easy but I am ready. This year is my year to stand firm on what I believe and to not back down or run away when it gets hard.

So what ever you are in need of take it to God and let Him take care of it and TRUST that He has your best interest at heart

Trust....

In Life Coaching again this year we are supposed to choose our "word of the year" and again mine is TRUST. Last year is was more about trusting others and myself but this year it is about trusting God. This verse really spoke to me today:

O Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant. 2 Samuel 7:27

Why do we ever doubt that God has good things planned for us. It says right in the bible that He has promised good things for us but I think sometimes we believe that is for everyone besides ourselves. It says right here in this verse that God is Trustworthy but yet we try to keep things from Him (like He doesn't know any way) because we think that He will not understand or that our problem is way to big for God. Think about that.....the God who created everything can not handle our problems....when you really stop and think about that statement it is laughable, well at least to me it is.

So that is my plane for this year...to trust God in every situation not just the ones I think He can handle but in every aspect of my life.

I know things happen for a reason and I really believe with all of my heart God is going to use me and my family this year to bring about some big changes.

I am asking all of you out there that consider me their friend to stand with me in prayer that I will allow God to walk and talk through me this year in all areas of my life and that He gives me the courage to stand for what I believe in....no matter what.

Guess what....

it is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!! The launch day of Celebration Church!!!!!!!!! It has been one of the most exhausting weeks of my life but it is all worth it.

We had the unveiling of the sign this morning which was amazing, then we headed to Florida Ave and Bearss Ave to hand out chocolate, that is something that I have never done before, but it was alot of fun (we defiantly need to do it again).

After that I headed out with Candy and Heather to get all of the things for tomorrow nights Celebration launch party. We had a blast, it felt like we were all over the Tampa Bay area. We got back to the church at about 6:30 then I had a couple more errands to run myself so I finally made it home at about 8 or 8:30. Now it is relaxation time before bed.

So if you are anywhere never the Tampa Bay area at 10:00 am tomorrow morning join us at Celebration Church for the start of something great!!!!!!

Out with the old.....

in with the new!!!

That has been the "theme" at work for the last 3 months or so. We are just days away from launching a BRAND NEW church in the Tampa Bay area and it is sooooo exciting. Like I read in one of my favorite blog (Michele's) it is kind of bitter sweet. I thought I would recap all the wonderful things that have happened in my life while I have attended Northside:

*God finally got a hold of me, and I mean really a hold of me

*My husband was miraculously saved

*My girls have all 3 given their heart to Christ

*Everyone in my family was baptized

*I am learning to TRUST people and let them "in"

*I have met some of my very very best friend in my life at Northside

Wow, God can do alot in 8 years!!!

Now I can hardly wait to see what God is going to do at and through Celebration Church. Pastor Deanna always says the best is yet to come and boy I believe it.

If you live anywhere remotely close to the Tampa Bay area and believe that no church will ever accept you or that you have gone to far for God or anyone else to ever love you again, I invite you to Celebration Church this Sunday. As soon as you step on the property you are among friends that will love you and I mean truly love you no matter where you are at or where you are coming from. We are here for you and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. We are a church that will accept you and we can introduce you to a Savior that will love you through all of your past and be there with you to show you around in your future.

If you have any question about us look us up on the web: www.celebrationchurchtampa.com

What a ride...

but you gotta love it...........

It has been a little nutty around here lately.

Last week the girls had mid-terms so the older two got out of school at 11:30 on some days and 9:45 on some days....depending on what classes they had that day. So it was a little crazy having to get tham at different times everyday. But we made it through it and they all think they did pretty well on their exams.

We have been going 90 to nothing with the launch which is just around the corner...literally. You never realize how much there is to do until you jump in and start doing it. But it will all be worth it in the end...when we open those doors on January 31 and start this new chapter it is going to be amazing...trust me!!!!!!!!!

The week of prayer was amazing.....it is hard to pin point one things but I think by far my favorite was Prayer and Pancakes. We have had them in the past and they were great but there was just something different about this one. There was just such a spirit of unity and acceptance and love....it is hard to explain unless you were there. I tell you this though if that is even just a small sample of what heaven is going to be like then all of the crap we have to go through now is definitely worth it.

Now this week....well I should of expected a tough one after the week of prayer and it has been a challenging one. The week started off pretty good but Wednesday we were thrown a curve ball. Tom went to the doctor for a lump he has had on his leg since around Christmas time. It has gotten bigger over time so we wanted to get it checked out. Well the doctor looked at him and said that he didn't know what it was and sent him to the ER, so we were in the ER all day yesterday. The only thing we know right now is that it is an abscess, they sent him home with an antibiotic and want him to follow up with a surgeon. Right now he is sore because they did cut it open and try to drain it. But we are believing God for a healing and that we will not have to go to the surgeon.

So now it is Thursday night and am trying to recoop from all the craziness. Life Coaching starts Saturday and I am sooooooo excited about that. Life Coaching has been so amazing and has helped me so much...it has brought me out of my shell and taught me to TRUST people the way I should. It has taught me to let go of the past and to look forward to the future and to treasure the present. The ladies that are in that group hold a special place in my heart and always will!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well time to relax...don't get that opportunity very often so I am going to take advantage of it.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 33:22

What's going on.....

the first things that's going on is it is COLD here in sunny Florida!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is a possibility of snow...yes I said snow..here..in Florida...can you believe it?!?!?!?!?

Secondly...I am feeling sooooo much better and so is Tom. Thanks everyone for all of your prayers...it is greatly appreciated.

We had one of the last work days at church today before our launch on the 31st of this month. It is amazing what God is doing among His people. I just love to sit back and look at all the people in the church right now...I can look at each person and see how much God is doing in them, through them, and what He is accomplishing through their willingness to serve. I thank God everyday for allowing me to be apart of His amazing church and allowing me to serve right beside some of the most unbelievable loving and caring people on the planet!! You guys will never fully understand what you mean to me and how much I love each and everyone of you.

Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul. Proverbs 27:9 (The Message)

Yesterday...

was a full day. Sorry I did not post anything but by the time I made it home fixed dinner and ate it I was out. I fell asleep on the couch for about 30 min. then had to get up and do laundry and get everything ready for today. So here is what I will leave you with for now:

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!!!

What a way to start the New Year...

sick!!!!

I missed church the first Sunday of the New Year and the first day back to work after the holidays. We are getting ready for the launch of Celebration in a few weeks, not a good time to miss church or work.

I always look forward to the week between Christmas and New Year's because I get the week off and boy do I need it, but there is one down side....I feel very isolated. I know that may sound weird, I love stating home but I kinda get in a funk and by the end of the week I am definitely ready to go back to work. And now I am sick.....yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I am feeling better so it looks like I will be back at work tomorrow....yea!!!!

One of my New Year's resolutions is to try and blog a little everyday, I had fallen behind on it lately (a good friend brought that to my attention). So it may not be a long one but I promise I will try and write something everyday.

Well Happy Monday to all and to all a good evening!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a New Year....

yes I know I have a knack for stating the obvious...lol... but I just felt it was something that I needed to state out loud, if you will.

This past year has been one full of ups and downs but all in all not that bad:
*Tom started his business which has not taken off as well as he had hoped but he makes a little doing it.
*I have re-established a relationships with a family member that I felt the Lord telling me it was time to do.
*My youngest daughter started middle school.
*My middle daughter started high school.
*My oldest daughter became a senior in high school.
*I have grown alot.
*We moved...not all our choice but it was for the best.
*I had to choose a "word of the year" for Life Coaching and I chose TRUST, never realized how much I didn't trust until I began to focus on it. I have learned to "let" people in more, and I have gained so much from them.

Now what does the New Year bring...hopefully more growth in God, Tom and I growing closer, my daughter's graduations from high school and the start of her college career, the continued growth of my girls in the things of the Lord.....I could go on and on but these are just a few of the things that I am looking forward to in this New Year.

*Thank you Lord for this New Year...I pray that I do and accomplish all that You have for me this year*